Who Is the Ugliest Man in the World?

Welcome to Question of the Day. It gives interns something to do!

The world is a shallow place, there’s no denying it. We’re all so busy fawning over handsome guys like George Clooney and Ryan Gosling, that sometimes we forget about the Dirk Kuyts and the Colin Meloys of this world. Ugly men, it’s your time to shine.

Joe, 37, dog trainer.

VICE: Who is the ugliest man in the world?
Joe: I haven’t seen all the men who are alive, so it’s hard to tell. But I would say Richard Branson, because of the narcissism, and I don’t think his hair looks natural for his age.

You think it’s a wig, or a toupee?
Not necessarily, I just think it looks very young. It’s the same with Iggy Pop. His hair doesn’t look real. 

Iggy Pop’s pretty ugly as well.
No, I don’t think he’s ugly for his age. He’s a man who is 63 and he’s still stage diving, and his muscles are tight. I would like to look like him at 63, for sure.

Anyone else who makes your eyes burn?
Prince Charles. He’s not very handsome. Gordon Brown as well.

Maybe it’s power that makes men ugly?
Could be.

Tarique, 14, student who is too young for us to include his face.

Tarique: Jay-Z. He’s got big lips.

He’s married to Beyoncé, so he must be doing something right.
It’s the money. 

But she’s got her own money.
Yeah, well now she can have more money. He doesn’t need the looks, but Jay-Z is definitely the ugliest man out there. 

Name and age withheld.

What kind of a question is that?!

It’s not very nice, but there we go.
I have no idea. This is a question I cannot answer.

Come on, there must be someone out there who makes you shudder.
Beauty’s on the inside though, right?

What about Donald Trump?
I love Donald Trump, he’s amazing.

What’s so great about Donald Trump?
His passion for winning. I can’t answer the question though. It’s too philosophical, it’s too deep.

(Right to left) Jacopo, Alfredo, Collado, Italian students.

[All three confer in Italian for ages]
Jacopo: Berlusconi.
All: Bush. 

Why Bush?
Alfredo: For what he did.

Rob, 23, works in a bar.

Rob: My dad. I don’t know if he’s the ugliest man in the world, but he’s pretty ugly. 

What’s so ugly about him?
He’s got this awful beard that doesn’t grow properly. It’s really patchy.

Is your mom ugly?
No, she’s alright. I think she’s too good for him. 

Who do you look like most, your mom or your dad?
I don’t want to say. 

Any celebrities who you think are ugly?
Jeremy Clarkson’s not very attractive, is he? He’s a vile man.

I’d agree with that.

Madeline (right) and Tina, both 23, both students.

Madeline: A singer… I can’t remember his name, but he is too ugly for me. He sung a song with Nicole Kidman…
Tina: Robbie Williams!
Madeline: He’s really ugly. He has a really hairy chest as well. I like a hairy chest, but it’s just him. He’s ugly.
Tina: I would say Bono. 

Yeah?
Tina: He wears his sunglasses all the time… and his nose, eurgh! Arnold Schwarzenegger as well, maybe. Too many muscles. 

Jessica, 25, actress.

Jessica: I can’t think of anyone!

What about Robbie Williams? Someone else said Robbie Williams.
No, he’s not ugly. I think Peter Andre is quite unattractive. He’s very slimy. I’m sure he’s nice, though. 

What do you find so repulsive about him?
I think it’s the way he looks plastic. And the tan, and the alleged pecs… His aura isn’t particularly attractive. 

Like a demon.

Sinah, 22, musician.

Sinah: I was thinking of Peter Pan, for some reason.

He’s not even a man.
I know, it’s really mean. OK, maybe Justin Bieber. But he’s a kid as well, so it’s still really mean.

He’s 18 now, he can take it.
OK. He’s just too sleek. I prefer someone more rugged. His fame has probably made him ugly on the inside, too. 

Previously – How Were You Disciplined as a Child?