Photo by Flickr user Nana B Agyei
Annons
Annons
People, like my mom, insist that it's because of my age, or because I am just not yet in the right mindset. I am then reminded of that biological clock. It's going to start ticking before I know it, and when it does, I'm going to transform into a baby-making machine. I don't get why I'm told this so often. I don't understand why becoming a mother is still seen as a woman's top priority in life.During this year's Passover dinner, my mother's best friend did her dirty work for her and spoke to me about a friend of theirs who is in her mid 40s and childless. She spoke of this woman in a pitying tone, angering me enough to suggest that perhaps this woman is happy to not have children. Those words could not compute in her head. Her response was, "She just waited too long, and now she can't. If you wait too long, you'll regret not having one."When I see puppies, I know I want one. When I see babies, my reaction is different. Some babies here and there might get a "how cute" out of me if they're wearing sunglasses or have a little mohawk, but never do I think to myself that I want one. I've seen firsthand what it entails to be a parent. When I was 16, my mother remarried and gave birth to my sister, my first sibling. When I was 22, my father had a daughter with the woman he remarried, my second sibling. As much as I love them both, their presence in my life at such a late age has done nothing but make me more aware of how exhausting and unfulfilling I think of motherhood se being.I don't understand why becoming a mother is still seen as a woman's top priority in life.
Annons
That's another thing never really talk about: How many of us are actually fit to be parents? My generation seems more financially unprepared than the ones that have come immediately before. We are branded as the generation that will never grow up because we rely on our parents to financially support us well into our 30s. According to a Canadian survey from 2014, 43 percent of those polled aged 30 to 33 admitted to not yet being financially independent. How can someone who can't support themselves support a kid?When I fantasize about my ideal future, children are an afterthought. I see a successful career, a husband, multiple dogs in the backyard, and then think to myself: "Oh, I guess I'll have a kid or two." Right now, I don't know what exactly this means. It could very well be what everyone says. I'm still young. I'm not yet in the right mindset. My biological clock is still being would up. However, is it possible that my fantasy is telling me now that parenthood is really not something I want, but rather feel obligated to take part in? You know, like going to Coachella, but even more expensive. I guess the only real answer right now is that I'll have to just wait and see.Follow Alison Stevenson on Twitter.When I fantasize about my ideal future, children are an afterthought.