Listen, I may not be able to talk at length about China’s expansionary fiscal policy, and I’ve never been able to get more than five pages into A Brief History of Time without having a panic attack, but there is one thing in the world I am absolutely certain of, and it is that Rihanna’s dress sense has been perpetually on fleek since she arrived sur scène in 2005 with “Pon De Replay” and dramatically increased the sex appeal of low-rise baggy jeans.
From the Frida Kahlo inspired artwork that came with “BBHMM” to the many, many #nipplegates, Rihanna’s fashion sense precedes her – sometimes literally. Whatever it was she wore to the Met Gala on Monday night that looked like a cross between Belle’s ball gown from Beauty and the Beast and an enormous Cornish pasty was a work of art. It was like catching a glimpse of an alternate reality in which we overthrew The Royal Family and stamped Rihanna’s face on our currency. But her style could say something far greater, far more cosmic, than just “hey, I’m Rihanna and I’m loads better than you.” It could say, “hey, I’m Rihanna and I fucking love N64.”
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This dude posted the following images on Reddit with the caption, “My girlfriend discovered that Rihanna is systematically cosplaying as all the characters of Mario Party”. Based on the evidence below, she is clearly an absolute genius.
Princess Daisy:
Mario:
Yoshi:
Princess Peach:
Toad:
Bowser:
I mean, if anybody is going to pull of any of these looks in the first place it’s probably the woman who can sing the lyric “Your wife in the backseat of my brand new foreign car” with a purposefulness that would emasculate Don Draper. But the evidence is quite substantial tbf. Maybe it’s time to switch it up?
Stay tuned for the many outfits of Rihanna as inspired by Bestival themes over the years; as inspired by the Transformers franchise; as inspired by the many mood and many sides of George Costanza… I could go on, but it’s election day and we all should really have better things to do. Brb going to put my X next to the “Rihanna Is Dope” party.
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