This article originally appeared on VICE Romania
This week, the Republic of Moldova Armed Forces conducted a “large military exercise“ emphatically named “Northern Shield 2015”. Five hundred soldiers were mobilised for this exercise, which sounds trivial compared to the drills that NATO and Russian forces usually partake in. Nevertheless, the term “large” is not out of place here, considering that the entire Moldavian Army is merely 6000 strong.
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Even the separatist forces in Transnistria, which are currently the greatest threat that Military of Moldova faces, have a slightly stronger army. To say nothing about the Russian forces still stationed on Moldavian territory, despite the Moldovan government repeatedly demanding their retreat.
Chișinău’s political and military elite generally seem to understand that very few people care about what they want so they tend to do absolutely nothing to prepare for any possible armed conflicts – they know any battle would be instantly lost. Earlier this week however, Moldova’s Ministry of Defence released a promotional video, apparently filmed during their latest military exercise.
Watch the video below:
The video shows the 500 brave Moldavians fighting a band of hooligans, who are armed with sticks. The “battle” takes place in the middle of a field near Balti – a city located in the northern parts of the country. While armoured vehicles drive by tearing apart barricades of used car tyres in the backdrop, the Moldavian troops are seen approaching a group of wedding guests who seem to threaten them by engaging in local folk dance.
That’s where the big twist comes in: Something seems to be bulging under the bride’s wedding dress. She’s not hiding a baby – she’s hiding an AK-47! Apparently, drunken assault rifle-wielding brides are a serious threat to Moldova’s national security.
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This was all so bizarre that I was desperate for an explanation. I called Republic of Moldova’s Armed Forces spokeswoman, Maj. Ala Diaconu to ask if the exercise was inspired by Tarantino’s Kill Bill, as the Moldavian press has been suggesting. She laughed and told me this was not the case: The exercise’s scenario, Diaconu said, is old and had been used many times in the past. According to Maj. Diaconu, the purpose of the exercise was to underline the co-operation between the Moldavian Ministry of Defence and the Ministry of Internal Affairs. “Alternative scenarios involving rebel attacks and earthquake relief have also been taken into consideration,” she added.
The exercise was also attended by Moldova’s Prime Minister, Kirill Gaburich, who actually showed up in uniform. According to an official press release, “the Prime Minister was pleased with the high level of the troops’ military training.”
