OH BOY THE STROKES ARE MICHAEL JACKSON? THIS ALBUM KICKS OFF WITH SOME SHIT THAT SHOULD HAVE A BUNCH OF “CHAMON’S” ON IT. REMEMBER WHEN THESE NIGGAS WERE EVERY HIPSTER NIGGA FAVORITE BAND? REMEMBER ALSO THAT CASEY SPOONER NIGGA? WHO IS THAT GUY? I SAW HIS NAME LIKE 5 TIMES IN A PAPER MAGAZINE I WAS READING IN THE DENTISTS OFFICE IN 2005. THAT NIGGAS COCAINE QUALITY PROLLY DETERIORATED TREMENDOUSLY SINCE EVERY NIGGA ON THE L TRAIN WAS LIKE “DUDE. THAT DUDE IS SO! OVER! DUDE.”
THESE NIGGAS ARE A GENERIC ROCK BAND NOW B. YOU KNOW HOW YOU KNOW YOU BECAME A GENERIC ROCK BAND? WHEN I TURN YOUR SHIT ON AND I’M INSTANTLY TRANSPORTED TO A WOMEN’S CLOTHING BOUTIQUE IN MY MIND YOU FEEL ME? IF YOUR MUSIC REMINDS ME OF PICKING OUT RANDOM PHRASES OUT OF MY “PRETEND YOU GIVE A FUCK” WORD BANK IN REGARDS TO THE OUTFITS MY WIFE IS TRYING ON, YOU ARE A GENERIC ASS ROCK BAND B. YO ON SOME REAL SHIT HOW ANNOYING IS IT TO BE AT FUCKIN J CREW OR SOME SHIT AND YOUR WIFE GOES INTO A FITTING ROOM WITH 49 SUMMER DRESSES AND COMES OUT IN EACH ONE, ONE BY ONE AND IS LIKE “WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS ONE?” THEN SHE CUTS YOU OFF BEFORE YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING LIKE “IT’S DOING THIS WEIRD BUNCHY THING HERE, SEE?” AND SHE POINTS TO A PART OF HER BODY SHE CAN’T ACTUALLY SEE WITHOUT USING 5 MIRRORS. THAT SHIT SUCKS B I’M JUST TRYNA GO GET SOME CHIPOTLE OR SOME SHIT CAN YOU JUST PICK THE FUCKIN DRESS WITH THE NAVY BLUE STRIPES THAT COSTS $300 SO I CAN ACCRUE MORE DEBT?
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YO THIS ALBUM DOESNT SUCK BUT IT DOESN’T NOT SUCK…YOU FEEL ME? I’M JUST LIKE “EHH”…I WOULDN’T BOO THESE NIGGAS OFF STAGE BUT AT THE SAME TIME I PROBABLY WOULDNT EVEN BE ABLE TO TELL THIS SHIT APART FROM THE REST OF THE SHIT BLARING OVER THE SPEAKERS AT FOREVER21. THESE DUDES ARE PROLLY RICH THOUGH SO SHOUTOUT TO THEM. I GOTTA FILE THEM IN THE GENERIC ROCK BAND FOLDER WITH FOO FIGHTERS AND GOOGOO DOLLS AND SHIT. JUST KIDDING THOSE GOOGOO NIGGAS PROLLY ALL DIED IN THAT HEAVEN’S GATE MASS SUICIDE SHIT. RIGHT? I JUST ASKED A 47 YEAR OLD WHITE DUDE TO VERIFY THAT FOR ME AND I BELIEVE HIM BECAUSE HE’S WEARING BOOT CUT JEANS.
I GIVE THIS SHIT 2 PILES OF DUTCHGUTS OUTTA 5 BECAUSE I’M DRUNK. AT WORK.
STANDOUT TRACK: YO “BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE” BY CHRIS BROWN AND BENNY BENNASSI WOULD PROBABLY DRIVE ME TO TEARS IF I WAS AT A VERY DIVERSE RAVE ON A BEACH IN IBIZA AND THE SUN WAS COMING UP AND I WAS OFF THAT MOLLY. AIGHT IM OUT.
