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We all argue. But, unlike 34-year-old Jayson Laughman from Orlando, it’s rare that we pull samurai swords on our mum’s boyfriends over arguments about tinned shrimp. I decided to ask some strangers about their stupidest argument in a bid to prove that the people of London can be just as illogical about the sanctity of canned seafood as the people of Florida.
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Cem: Gotta be with the missus, innit?
Do you ever win?
[Sighs] Not really. It’s 50/50.
What do you argue about?
Cleaning, going out, her spending my money, holidays.
Why does she always win?
She always thinks she’s right, I always think she’s wrong. I’m the sort of person who don’t argue too much, so I keep a cool head, y’know?
So you’re a peaceful person in general, a bit like the Dalai Lama?
Uh – yeah, mate.
Cool. So who’s your least favourite person to argue with?
Probably my old man. When we argue, it gets out of hand. Not too aggressive – just a bit of shouting and screaming, everybody getting angry, trying to have their dinner. I always win, though.
That’s good.
Adam: Gimme a moment. Yeah, I owed this guy a fiver once and I didn’t give it to him for a couple of months. Then he got a bit upset and decided to bash my brains in.
Really?
Yeah, I got severely damaged [laughs].
Oh right. Did he get the fiver back in the end?
No, he didn’t, I didn’t pay. He felt pretty guilty afterwards and paid me off.
I guess that’s kind of nice. So you’re still friends?
Fuck no! I’ve got a hit out on him.
Have you seen him since?
Nah, he fled to Australia. Before I got the mafia on his arse.
Ooosz: I never get in arguments. I work every day – why argue? Especially on days off.
Can you get out of arguments quite quickly?
I don’t get in arguments.
Do you not enjoy arguments?
No.
So no arguing back and forth?
Why are you arguing about arguing with me?
Kasia: Probably something to do with philosophy – it was about faith and God. I managed to convince a Catholic person that what she’s believing is far from what she thinks.
Are you proud of that?
So much. They know that their beliefs are illogical and they admitted it.
How was it, knowing you were right?
Very good. I was so happy.
Is she an atheist now?
No, I’m still quite annoyed. All she’s done is admitted that her religion has no rational knowledge behind it.
Have you ever thought about taking Dawkins’ throne and trying to covert believers to atheism?
Maybe, but only if I was the leader. Stupid people believe in things that they don’t understand – things that have no explanation.
Like the ending to Inception?
Not really.
Previously – What’s the Hardest You’ve Ever Worked?
