World’s Rockingest Job Found!

This advert appeared on Guardian Jobs today.

If you’re an SEO Marketing Rock Star, then what are you waiting for? Put on your leather jacket, grease up your hair, open a can of beer, light a cigarette, do up your snakeskin boots, slap AC/DC on your iPod and strut down to RecruitmentRevolution.com, where the competivety of the salary is bolstered by the awesomeness of the working environment! It goes on…

Videos by VICE

My guess is that SEARCH ENGINE MARKETER isn’t often written in capital letters. My guess is that it’s normally whispered in the corners of mortuaries as another cadaver arrives from suicide bridge, as in: “He decided the world was better off without him; search engine marketer stylee”.

Guitar Hero OR Rock Band!!!! I know, I know, but don’t wet yourself yet; they’re more than just a playpen for bibbling twats who failed to learn anything from The Office or Nathan Barley and have an insatiable passion for pissing their investors’ money down the toilet; they have a philosophy. Like rabbis, the human resources department at RecruitmentRevolution.com believe in the power of knowledge…

Free books about social engine marketing? No work on your birthday? If that doesn’t sound enough like being in Guns N’ Roses circa 1988 for you, wait till you read the SEO Marketing Rock Star Responsibilities and Duties.

Jesus – researching and resolving HTML code and content?!?! It might as well say ‘tie a pretty teenage girl to a bed and screw her with a dead shark’. RecruitmentRevolution.com are nutters.

If you think you’re mad enough for this opportunity, you can apply here.

TIM REAPER