personal essays
My Father Was a Child Molester and I Put Him in Prison
As bad a man as my father is, I still struggle with the guilt of placing the man I loved and admired for so long into a cramped, violent cage.
Why Katherine Dunn's 'Geek Love' Was a Bible to Weird Kids Like Me
Katherine Dunn died this week, but her work—especially the incredible novel "Geek Love"—spoke to everyone who thought of themselves as an outsider or weirdo.
What It Was Like to Grow Up Fat
I asked my family what it was like to raise an overweight kid during the childhood obesity epidemic, but it seems no one noticed.
It Sucks to Be Sober in New Orleans
New Orleans is a land of temptation and sin, and it can be fucking hell if you're a recovering alcoholic.
My Time as a Professional Debt Collector Made Me Lose Faith in Humanity
It's hard to be depressed yourself when you're confronted with the most depressing stuff imaginable.
Love, Lies, and the Long Aftermath of My Parents' Divorce
My parents divorced before I was one, and when I look back at my life I wonder if that's why I've been a shitty person to every woman I've ever dated.
My Time as a 'Cool' Substitute Teacher and a Complete Trainwreck
I showed up hungover, sent kids to Starbucks for coffee and let my students do whatever they wanted. They loved me.
And Now This: Author Elizabeth Wurtzel Reckons with Breast Cancer
"So I have breast cancer, which like many things that happen to women is mostly a pain in the ass."
My Impossible Quest to Teach My Mom the Language of the iPhone
Sooner or later you have to start parenting your parents.
My Cat's Brush With Life-Saving Gender Reassignment Surgery
The doctors said that in order to save my cat's life, they would have to give him a vagina.
I'm Finally Coming to Terms With the Horror of My Divorce
I married someone to fill a void in my life, and he just made that void larger until I was finally strong enough to leave.